Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I'm a Coca-Cola Snob

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Everyone has their quirks, and one of mine is an obsession with Coke. I heard Coca-Cola used to be made with cocaine, and I believe it. This stuff is truly addicting. I'm probably preaching to the choir here in Texas, but there's nothing like an ice-cold fountain Coke. Not a bottle. Not a can. A delicious, frothy fountain Coke.

Since Coke is just about one of the worst things you can put in your body, I have recently been working to break my habit by drinking Arnold Palmers. You know, half (unsweet) iced tea and half lemonade. Yes, yes, I know there are some calories from the lemonade, but it can't be nearly as bad as Coke, right? If not, please don't tell me. I want to keep my illusion.

As a Coke Connoisseur, I actually get offended when someone tries to offer me Pepsi as a substitute. Jared never understands why I get so upset, but my fellow Coke drinkers will. Pepsi and Coke are two COMPLETELY different drinks. Pepsi is much sweeter and less carbonated than Coke. I know there are those who prefer Pepsi, but I am definitely not one of those people. There is no substitute for Coke!

To prove my point, let me give an example. I understand my Coke snobbery is completely irrational, so I tried to branch out at a restaurant in Austin one time. Austin is a great place to try new things because everyone is obsessed with funky, locally sourced ingredients. The restaurant did not offer Coke or even Pepsi for that matter, just a carbonated beverage made of locally sourced roots and some other stuff I didn't really understand. Well hey, I'm an adventurous gal. Plus, I wanted to prove Jared wrong about my Coke snobbery, so I decided to give it a try. So there, Jared!

When I tried the drink, I almost spit it back out. It tasted AWFUL, like a really strong, weird root beer (which I do not like, by the way) with extra licorice flavor. What kind of roots do they grow in Austin anyway??? I had to send the drink back, which I really don't like to do in restaurants. That's how bad it was. I stuck with water, as usual when Coke is not available. My experiment in branching out did not work. I will definitely go back to being a Coke snob in the future. It's one of those little things in life, y'all.