Thursday, August 29, 2013

Clumsiness Horror Story #1

I am...how shall I put this delicately...clumsy. And not just a little clumsy. I'm the girl who runs into walls and doors because I just can't get myself out of the way fast enough. Normally my clumsiness doesn't cause anything other than a few small bruises, but there was one occasion where my clumsiness almost destroyed my apartment. Literally.

One night while Jared was working at the hospital, I decided to treat myself to some food from Pei Wei. I even had the perfect condiment to go on it: a red sauce my dad had made from chilies grown in his garden. My dad had even given to me in a cute little glass jar.

I set up my dinner on a little table in the living room in front of the TV with the jar of chili sauce. Just as I tried to open the jar, it slipped out of my hands and fell on the floor. Now this sauce was the BRIGHTEST orange-red you can imagine. After I dropped the jar, my LIVING room was also the brightest orange-red you can imagine. The sauce spread like a gun shot wound across the entire apartment, all over the carpet, on the walls, in the kitchen, on Henry's crate, ON THE CEILING. I was so horrified, I just sat there, mystified, for what seemed like forever. Of course this had to happen when Jared wasn't home!!!

The worst spot, however, was where the jar hit the floor. The beige carpet had instantly soaked up that sauce, and I wasn't sure if it would ever come out. I decided to FaceTime my parents to show them the carnage. I was still in such disbelief something so horrible had happened, I needed someone else to confirm. When I showed my parents, they gasped and asked me what happened. When I told them, my dad said I needed to hurry and rent a rug doctor before the carpet was permanently damaged.

Of course, this all occurred around 8 p.m., so I wasn't even sure where to rent a rug doctor at that hour. Fortunately, a grocery store not far from my apartment had what I needed. I had never used a rug doctor before, mind you, so I had no clue what I was doing. When I finally figured out how to operate the dang machine, it took me three cycles to even make a dent in the bright red sauce. After the fourth cycle, the carpet was getting soaked, so I had to stop even though you could still faintly see the stains on the carpet.

Then, I had to start cleaning up the sauce on the rest of the apartment. I found sauce in places I didn't even dream possible, like the TV, our movie collection, the kitchen wall. The stuff was everywhere. Even after I thought I cleaned it up, I would still randomly find spots every couple of weeks! When Jared got home from the hospital, I told him about the mess and he was definitely relieved he wasn't home to deal with that problem.